I've Waited all my Life
by Samandjackforever
Summary: “fate has taken my sky away from me” John’s POV, McShep, Deathfic But with a happy ending


Summary- "fate has taken my sky away from me" John's POV, McShep, Deathfic

Warning- MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH! I wanted to post this, I know it's not really that good because I just typed it up while listening to "Skimming stones" by SleepTheif feat. Kirsty Hawkshaw. It just came to me so I don't know if this can be considered a Drabble. I think so though. I highly suggest to listen to the song while reading, it gives it the feel.

I've waited all my life

I see him standing out there and I know that's not possible. My heart breaks slowly, each piece breaking off with a memory of what we had.

It was so simple to have him taken from me. Not even the warm breeze can dry my tears. My deep sadness is masked by fake smiles during the day only to sink into my deep dark pit of sorrow as soon as the sun sets.

I watch the sun set over the mainland and pretend that he'll be there when I go back inside.

My love with the sky in his eyes. Without my love...my sky is gone.

Fate has taken my sky from me.

Fallen in battle, if I close my eyes I can still see the gray sky and feel the rain fall as I ran. I ran to save him, I ran until my legs ached and my lungs burned. I ran through the smoke and gun fire. When I found him...my heart stopped.

My sky, my beautiful sky was lying on the ground, red crimson blood bubbling out of his wounds. A small child behind him running to her family. He saved her. His blood for her life. I cradled him in my arms rocking him gently. He looked up at me....those beautiful eyes that hold the sky struggled to stay open. "I love you" he said as his eyes dimmed....I shouted I loved him too...more then anything.

I still hope he heard me.

My chest aches at the memory as I look up to the now dark sky. The stars speckle it in light as the two moons shine on. I fool myself to believe that maybe he is on one of those stars, shining down on me. The breeze grows cold around me as the night chill sets in. I turn from the balcony and break into a run. I need to be with him....if not physically then mentally. I need to go to our place.

I run onto our pier, the waves lapping gently against the sides. I look above me and spread my arms out wide as I exhale. I can't feel him here. Maybe he is truly gone.

I drop to my knees in despair. He can't be gone from this place....of all the times we've spent here. All the nights of secret passion...all the days of meaningful conversations....meaningful confessions. This was where we started.....this was where we loved...lived...laughed.

That's all gone now.

All that joy....all that love....everything...mutes out into a blind and deaf silence. Not even warmth resides.

I look over into the water.....the gentle and cold waves as they caress the pier. For the first time I realize....maybe...I can be with him physically. Maybe....maybe I can get what I want...an eternity with him....

A voice in my head tells me to wait....tells me that I have time...and that I'm needed but I don't believe it. I ignore it as I stand. I stand on the edge. The Edge of everything....the edge between life and death....loneliness and peace.

I turn and face Atlantis, my beautiful city who is trying to stop me. She pleads in my mind if only quietly, knowing she will not win. 'I know what I want' I tell her.

'That is a lie. Rodney wouldn't want you to do this.'

My heart aches at the sound of his name...my beautiful sky. I know he wouldn't want it....I know he wouldn't but...it's not his choice, it's mine.

'I know.' I tell her and I feel her cry.

"I'm sorry" I hear myself mutter as I look up to the sky one last time, I breath deeply.

I feel myself slip backwards, it's such a long way down until the water and I'd rather not know how far.

The icy cold water hits my back as I sink. It consumes me. I feel the cold crush me as I release the air from my lungs. I greedily suck in the water, filling me.

My life slips and I feel hands, thousands of hands under me, lifting me up into the sky, into space and beyond. I see the planets and the stars before there is white,

Brilliant white

"Rodney....my sky...."

END


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